Sometimes, I wonder if my over-analysis is unneeded. I guess it sort of was in this case. I mean, had I not said anything, I might not need to try and remember these newly-created rules. But what else was I supposed to do? It's not in my personality to just let things flow like that. I HAVE to analyze. I don't know. It's a habit. Sorry.
Not only that, but I guess I'm so wary of making a mistake. I'm too cautious right now in fear of doing something wrong and causing any errors. I know I should be assertive and sure of myself, but I can't fight that urge to keep things perfect. I'd rather ask questions to be sure of the answers, rather than just be spontaneous, go for it, only to be rebuffed. I'd like to avoid that denial as much as I can.
So for now, I'll play it safe, I guess. I mean, now that I know the "rules" I know the extent to which I can safely travel. Not that I will always stay behind that line. Rules are meant to be broken, of course, especially when I can't help myself. And trust me. I won't be able to help myself many times.
Like I've said, the appeal is always there. It's up to me if I can stand it. Probably not, because in the end...
the allure > my inclination to always follow the rules
Thursday was already slightly different. Come Tuesday, things will be completely different.
I'll definitely be more assured and absolute about things. And yes, while I will follow to an extent, it won't always happen.
That's the plan, Jeremy. That's the plan. Stick to it.
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